Which American Idol star is most precious? Blake Lewis or Jordin Sparks?

According to a certain judge on the show, it’s neither. Guess which critic believes she ought to be the center of all attention.

Indeed, train-wreck-tastic Paula Abdul went on a self-important diatribe during an episode of her reality show, Hey Paula. The crazy one ranted: “I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.”

Oh Vey!

In the premiere, set to air June 28, Simon Cowell’s favorite target appears addled after the 2007 Grammy Awards. She stumbles on the street and giggles in the back of her limo (”I crack myself up!”) before her mood darkens and she berates two assistants for not bringing her sweat pants to change into for a flight.

The encounter makes Paris Hilton look unspoiled. Well, sort of. But it does reveal a needy celebrity who, in the lap of pampering, constantly believes herself to be mistreated by those around her.

“The way I’ve been treated is [like] a piece of dog sâ?”,” Abudl complains in another typical outburst that insults canine feces everywhere.

All in all, it’s obviously fantastic television. The singer makes Coley Laffoon look sane by comparison.

Do you care what Kimberly Stewart is doing this summer? No? Neither do we.

But apparently TMZ, a different celebrity gossip site, thinks people are interested in this rich, talentless socialite. Hence, the following diary:

Hey Everyone,

Kimberly Stewart here. I’ll be writing to TMZ twice a week to give you guys all the inside dirt on my crazy busy summer. Here goes nothing!

I’m actually in London right now, working on finalizing a few TV projects and getting ready for my dad’s wedding. Don’t worry â?” You’ll get the scoop on THAT in the coming weeks. Things are super hectic, because before heading to the UK I was working in Spain.

Trust me — you don’t want the jetlag from a 12-hour flight. It sucks. Anyway, I was over there working with Pronovias, the Spanish fashion line - and did a bunch of photo shoots.

Now I’m back in London a place I love — and not just ’cause of my dad. The people are so warm and friendly, the nightlife is incredible and man do they love their techno music. Yow. My ears are still ringing. Although I haven’t been able to go out much, since I’ve had to get up really freakin’ early for meetings and photo shoots, but as soon as I get a night off, it’s on.

* The Hollywood Gossip note: Complaining about waking up early while abroad for photo shoots is akin to us whining that Amanda Beard isn’t nude enough on the cover of Playboy. Things could be worse, Kim.

I did go to this great party hosted by Victoria Beckham on Wednesday, all part of Graduate Fashion week. All the up-and-coming designers were there - showing off their latest designs. And before you ask, NO I did not get to meet Posh.

Kiss,
Kim

In this entry, at least, Stewart did not say anything about the fate of her supposed pal, Paris Hilton. Says a lot about that friendship, huh?

It’s the best news since we heard that a nude Amanda Beard would be posing in Playboy:

Paris Hilton is going back to jail.

Judge Michael Sauer made a perfectly logical point, saying “I don’t know why the defendant couldn’t be treated at Lynwood, because they have a great medical facility.”

And with that, he sentenced the illegal driver to return to prison in order to serve out the remainder of her time there. Looks like Nicole Richie can go back to being scared again now. She may be next!

Paris Hilton Cries

TMZ states that Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”

Moreover, one witness described the scene as Paris being “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy. And it’s safe to assume this isn’t the sort of physical escorting that Hilton is used to, courtesy of Stavros Niarchos and many, many others.

Hilton’s awful mother was later seen pacing the hallways, telling reporters, “I’m paralyzed right now.” We’re sure she can grab a drink with Dina Lohan at the World’s Worst Parenting bar and feel better, though.

Blame Paris Hilton for our delay in getting up Britney Spears news today. The lawbreaking hotel heiress is hogging all the celebrity gossip headlines.

But we do have the following to report on the troubled mother of Mr. Jayden James Federline:

She is NOT dating her drug counselor John Sundahl, as reports had earlier claimed. Sundahl, who acts as Spears’ drug counselor - and is doing a bang up job - was linked to the star after they reportedly met up at his Beverly Hillshouse to discuss follow-up treatment after her spell in rehab earlier this year.

Britney Bikini

The man who could probably assist Richie Sambora right about now simply said: “I am not having a relationship with Britney Spears.”

Meanwhile, another singer feels badly for Brit: the ever-popular bjork. The weird one recalls how dealing with fame became too much for her during the height of her career (yes, both days of it) in the 1990s when she was living in the U.K., prompting her to attack a journalist who tried to talk to her 10-year-old son.

Wow. Even Spears didn’t do that. But she has delayed flights and possibly hooked up with Ryan Phillippe.

Bjork says she can relate to The Hollywood Gossip’s favorite celeb, who is hoping to revive her career after a stint in rehab and constant press criticism about her parenting skills and party lifestyle.

“I definitely feel sympathy for Britney, but I had a choice. I could move away. She can’t,” Bjork said.

It’s true. Spears is actually being forced to get drunk and publicly diss her mom.

Jennifer Rovero is best known for getting naked a lot.

While this July 1999 Playmate of the Month might not be at the level of Holly Madison nude, she’s pretty much made a name for herself by taking off her clothes.

But it looks like Rovero wants that to change. The model now wants a reputation as someone with awful taste in friends. Why else would she send TMZ the following letter in support of Paris Hilton?

Jennifer Rovero I would like to address the media regarding one of my dearest friends, Paris Hilton. I have been by her side up until she turned herself over to authorities and the last 24 hours since being put on probation. I was also in the courtroom [yesterday] and saw a judge hand down a sentence that NO ONE in an even remotely similar position would receive!

Sheriff Baca is coming from a place of knowledge with regard to his prisons and his prisoners well-being. We should trust in him. He is a stand up man who was voted into office. He was not being generous. He was being practical and just, and speaking from years of experience on the front lines of L.A. justice. It’s clear as day that her stay has impacted her greatly.

(The Hollywood Gossip note: You know, like that of Britney Spears in rehab did.)

She is a forever changed woman.

The MTV Movie Awards was merely a diversion to be able to surrender in privacy and not stir up any commotion. PERIOD. Jail was on her mind, NOT a celebration!

Also, I would like to set the record straight that there was no party in motion for this weekend. When she was released she was still very upset, to the point of being physically ill - and partying was the furthest thing from her mind. She is a loving and sweet soul with a big heart whose character has been misjudged because she was born into a family of wealth and, yes privilege.

Now, I ask you to please stop for a moment and try to analyze why it is that you are so troubled by her?

Ok, Jennifer. We’ll have to talk with other celebrity gossip blogs, but in our view, it’s pretty much the spoiled attitude with which Paris approaches life. It’s also her utter lack of talent.

Even Dustin Diamond made a sex tape. One needn’t have skills or good looks to pull off that feat.

Maybe Jennifer Rovero wants to write a letter on behalf of Jason Wahler next.

While the Laguna Beach star isn’t being sent to the clink like Paris Hilton, he is being yelled at a lot by a judge.

Wahler was arrested for criminal trespassing and assault in Seattle earlier this year, which prosecutors claim violated his probation from a September, 2006 battery arrest in Los Angeles. However, this case’s judge denied the prosecutors’ request to send Kristin Cavallari’s former co-star to prison.

Totally Sober…

But that’s not to say Wahler didn’t receive a lecture about his alcoholism. The judge told Jason that he “shouldn’t drink” because “you can’t handle it.” The fact that he’s underage? Apparently not worth mentioning.

This judge would probably buy a round for Hayden Panettiere.

Anyway. The 20-year-old must continue attending AA meetings, while also completing 36 more hours of anger management classes. Maybe he can say hi to Isaiah Washington there.

Paul Sculfor is rumored to be dating Jennifer Aniston.

But recent reports make it seem like he may be a better fit for Tara Conner.

Paul Sculfor Photo Jane Atkinson, a writer for the British tabloid News of the World, Jane Atkinson led this weekend’s big story with word that “Aniston’s new fella was a raging cocaine fiend who snorted the drug with Kate Moss before they met Nelson Mandela.”

in Sculfor’s defense, that can be an intimidating experience. But one pal of the model takes the charges a lot further:”Jennifer should get out while she can. If he can behave like that, what kind of person is he?”

Just a troubled one, perhaps? Would this same person call Pete Doherty an awful individual?

“Paul had a huge cocaine problem, taking about $900 of it a day,” the supposed friend continued. “It turned him paranoid. He would tape up all his windows and hide away because he heard noises.”

Fortunately, this was a few years ago and Sculfor went the Britney Spears route in 2004, checking into a rehab clinic in north London.

The source remained adamant, however, that this wasn’t a normal drug problem: “Most people attend a 28-day program, but he needed six months to get sorted. He had a rich friend to pay for it. Afterwards he went to Cocaine Anonymous every day. He’s still a regular and meditates every day to try to stay clean.”

Hey, whatever works. As long as Paul doesn’t leave Jennifer for Angelina Jolie, he’s an improvement over prior boyfriends.

Amanda Beard nude? Guys across the world have finally gotten their wish on that front, as the swimmer will soon be gracing the cover of Playboy.

But the same can’t be said for Mandy Moore. The cute singer/actress has ruled out appearing naked onscreen. How come? Because she’d hate strangers to know what she looks in her birthday suit.

In fact, the possible girlfriend of musical god Greg Laswell has turned down a number of parts for nudity reasons.

“It would be completely uncomfortable to walk down the street and know that the person passing by had seen me without my clothes on,” Moore told USA Today. “I’ve turned down several roles where the producers or writers wouldn’t budge on that point.”

Fair enough, Mandy. We’re not asking you to go all Jenna Jameson on us. But what about getting nude in the pages of a magazine or in your very own calendar, such as Larissa Aurora?

“I’m not saying that it’s wrong for someone else to do them, but I think there’s a way to be feminine and sexy without posing half-naked,” Moore said.

We guess that’s true. But tell is to the often half-nude Lucy Pinder!

Paris Hilton issued a statement yesterday saying she won’t file an appeal and intends to serve out the remainder of her jail sentence.

Bound for Jail “Being in jail is by far the hardest thing I have ever done,” she said. “During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to think and I believe that I am learning and growing from this experience.”

James Blunt, of course, was hurt by this statement. He had been under the impression that he was the hardest thing Paris had ever done.

Hilton said she has spent time reading her fan mail and that “I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming.”

Reportedly, Paris also loves her family, almost as much as Paul Sculfor used to love cocaine.

Hilton concluded by saying she was “shocked” at the attention her case has received by the media and public officials.

“I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world,” she said.

While we certainly agree with the lawbreaking heiress, we can’t help but think she’d be singing a different, attention-loving tune if she weren’t behind bars. This is a woman that loves to dominate celebrity gossip headlines.

The heiress issued the statement after she spent her first night alone in a room in a locked-down medical ward after suffering in jail.

Meanwhile, a family friend says Paris’ wail of “It’s not right!” after her re-sentencing on Friday was not a sign that she disagreed with the decision.

“She was taken by surprise when she was restrained from hugging her mom and dad,” the friend tells People magazine. “That’s all she wanted to do â?” give them a hug. She was startled and spontaneously yelled. Wouldn’t most people? But she was not protesting. Just surprised and frightened.”

Well, not exactly. Most people not named Jason Wahler wouldn’t get into this sort of trouble in the first place.

Hilton then was sent to the Twin Towers Correctional Facility’s Correctional Treatment Center in the adjacent medical building. She was placed in a 120-square-foot room by herself with guards at the door at all times.

“Her cell has a bed, toilet, sink, and a sliver of a window,” says sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore.

Sounds like worse digs than the ones Justin Timberlake recently used against Britney Spears.

Janice Dickinson is ugly and insane.

This is far from newsworthy. It’s like reporting that Paula Abdul enjoys pain medication.

But the fact that Dickinson recently admitted to playing a role in her abusive father’s death? Okay, now you have our attention.

‘When my father was having a heart attack, I threw his heart pills out of the ambulance window,” the crazy model told Reveal magazine in an interview. “I killed him, but I have no regrets. It doesn’t feel good, but I’d do it all over again.”

Strong words. We wonder if they’ll lead to Janice joining Paris Hilton in prison.

Janice Dickinson Photo

If so, she’ll miss out on having lots of sex with famous people. Dickinson claims she’s had over 1,000 lovers, among them Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty, each of whom thought they were the best.

“They all think they’re so special but I was like: “You’re not unique, I’m going to go and date the other Academy Award winner!” Dickinson proudly said. “My mantelpiece used to be lined with Academy Awards I nicked from the stars I’d slept with; I gave them back eventually.’

Somewhere - rehab, probably - Lindsay Lohan is getting pissed that someone else is acting sluttier than she is.

Meanwhile, despite the fact that she has intercourse with boyfriend Joe Caplin “until the cows come home,” Janice says there’s a famous Brit she’d like to shag:

“I’d f**k Simon Cowell in a heartbeat. And I think his girlfriend’s pretty cute - I’d f**k her, too.”

It’s nice to see this woman isn’t at all desperate for attention, isn’t it? Especially as she ends the interview by talking about Pete Doherty’s penis for some reason. Kate Moss might wanna watch out.

“I wouldn’t judge Pete Doherty by his looks, he might have a 12 foot penis!’ Dickinson said without any prompting at all.

Granted, it’s a $35 million prison without bars.

Not an actual correctional facility like that crybaby skank Paris Hilton is once again confined to (and thankfully so).

But the shackles of Scientology are formidable nonetheless.

The once-lovely Katie Holmes wrapped filming on her new movie, Mad Money in Louisiana last week, theretofore returning to her cell mansion.

But at least the sweet-toothed actress didn’t leave town empty-handed. And no, we’re not talking about her stuffing Adam Rothenberg into a suitcase. Sadly.

Before heading home, she ordered eight dozen cupcakes and several pies from Cush’s Grocery and Market in Shreveport, La. She also lavished the cast and crew with desserts from the store.

“She wanted some cupcakes for the road,” a source tells People.

Truly stop-the-presses style news, we know.

In the last two months, Holmes has made a tradition of treating her Mad Money colleagues to everything from snow cones to cupcakes and pizza.

Reports state that her husband, Tom Cruise, has been jumping up and down a lot and yelling “woohoo! woohoo!” a la Daffy Duck.

The submissive mother of Suri Cruise has placed more than a dozen orders to the bakery at Cush’s, including requests for red velvet and peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes.

For Mother’s Day, Holmes had 28 dozen of the sweet treats delivered to everyone on the set, and she and Cruise would also order meat pies and chicken salad from Cush’s deli.

Looks like Katee Holmes was about the only one didn’t receive any treats from her namesake.

“Katie’s assistant started coming in and bought a couple of dozen cupcakes,” the source says.

“She loved them and it just took off from there.”

All we have to say is this: Don’t let Britney Spears near the set. Girl loves to eat sweets and junk food. And have nervous breakdowns.

Two people who have seen Paris Hilton nude paid the jailbird a visit over the weekend.

And both Nicky Hilton and Stavros Niarchos came away with hope for their sister/friend, as well as bitterness directed at them by others at the correctional facility.

“She’s being strong,” Nicky told reporters after the 30-minute visit.

Her boyfriend David Katzenberg drove the pair to the downtown Los Angeles jail unit that treats inmates for physical and mental ailments. They entered through a slew of photographers, filled out visitation forms, and were whisked upstairs.

In response, other visitors grumbled like Tom Cruise when he doesn’t know the exact whereabouts of Katie Holmes; these people were pissed that Nicky and Niarchos jumped the line.

“We don’t care about no Paris Hilton,” said one upset mother. “We’re here for our families.”

Said another relative: “Why did they get to go up first, that’s what I want to know?”

Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore denied the pair got special treatment. Of course, that’s pretty much as believable as any guy saying he doesn’t wish to see Amanda Beard nude.

Hilton and Stavros were the first family or friends admitted as visitors since Hilton was sent to the locked-down ward Friday after a brief reassignment to home confinement because of an unidentified medical condition. Hilton was visited Saturday by her immoral psychiatrist.

She’ll be behind bars for at least another three weeks, a sentencing that’s grown to be almost as controversial as anything since Asia Nitollano sort of joined The Pussycat Dolls.

Get a driver.

Those were the sage words of Hayden Panettiere last month, when it was first learned that Paris Hilton would do time for her repeated disregard for DUI and other traffic laws.

Such simple advice, yet so profound. It’s no surprise, then, that other night, the 17-year-old Panettiere had more choice words for the horrible HO-tel heiress / crybaby.

Well, sort of.

With Hilton back in the slammer after her brief release, the Heroes star hit the town last night and couldn’t avoid the inevitable “What do you think about Paris?” question from reporters.

As Hayden Panettiere slipped into Parc under the radar last night with co-star Zachary Quinto, she avoided the barrage of paparazzi.

But on the way to her car, the paps found her and flashbulbs went flying.

As Hayden made her way around to the front of her SUV, she got the question about Stavros Niarchos’ loser girlfriend - and simply giggled in response!

Yes. She is wise beyond her years. No word on whether Rumer Willis was with Hayden or what she thinks about the whole Paris Hilton situation.

However, we’re guessing if she ever hung out with Paris, Bruce Willis would kill her.

On a side note, while Hayden can operate a motor vehicle at 17, there are some things she can’t legally do until August. What are we talking about? Ask Stephen Colletti.

Not every Hollywood couple is as beloved as Francois-Henri Pinault and Salma Hayek.

Some pairings generate a great deal of controversy among celebrity gossip followers. Perhaps none more so than Usher and Tameka Foster.

Usher and Tameka

Recently, the engaged twosome were shopping for sunglasses at the Solstice Sunglass Boutique in Beachwood, Ohio. The sexy singer bought five new pairs of aviator shades, all of which he had the chance to model at the recent 30th birthday party for good friend Kanye West.

Usher and Tameka were just two of the numerous guests in attendance, as West and fiancee Alexis Phifer actually performed together.

Jenisa and Isaiah Washington Also appearing as a united front in public last week? Isaiah Washington and his wife, Jenisa.

Days before the actor was dropped from Grey’s Anatomy, People magazine reports that he and his lady dined at Santa Monica’s One Pico restaurant at the Shutters on the Beach hotel, enjoying an ocean view at their table as they talked passionately over red wine and Pellegrino.

Maybe they were even talking about another celebrity couple that’s hated on by the public.

After all, if Isaiah can go off on T.R. Knight, it’s easy to see him bashing the heck out of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, isn’t it?

Let’s just hope he left Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery alone. Those two have enough to deal with as they battle her anorexia rumors.

Aww. Jayden James Federline is tired. Probably sick of hearing about that stupid whiner Paris Hilton and whether or not she’s locked up. And we’re not blaming him.

On that note, it’s time for some completely unrelated celebrity gossip. It isn’t even gossip, really, just a good, old-fashioned comparison of some ridiculous, back dat ass up booty!

These two gals have some junk in the trunk. No doubt about that. But who’s got the best booty in all of Hollywood? Is it Jayden James’ MILF, Britney Spears, seen carrying the sleepy, mysterious little tyke on the left?

Or is it the venerable Kim Kardashian, a young woman with a rear end that may require its own ZIP code and definitely defies comprehension?

Britney SpearsLarge Buttocks

It is hard to say. But these two have more than big butts in common.

Britney used to be married to Kevin Federline, who used to bone Shar Jackson, who used to be on Moesha with Brandy, the brother of Ray J - who filmed a sex tape with Kim Kardashian.

Not that this is in any way relevant to this post. Anyway. You tell us, Hollywood Gossip readers. Which posterior is superior?